


Jedem Das Seine

by clearlykero



Category: Kyuuso wa Cheese no Yume wo Miru | The Cornered Mouse Dreams of Cheese
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-15
Updated: 2011-03-15
Packaged: 2017-10-17 00:20:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/170923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clearlykero/pseuds/clearlykero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is part of a music meme-- write 10 drabbles based on 10 shuffled songs, don't take longer than the length of the song. written for yeehun.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Jedem Das Seine

**Author's Note:**

> this is part of a music meme-- write 10 drabbles based on 10 shuffled songs, don't take longer than the length of the song. written for yeehun.

**w-inds. – Midnight Venus**

Four months into their life together, Imagase left.

Kyouichi remembered saying that he wouldn’t go looking for Imagase again. Not even to the local bus stop. _But_ , he thought, wryly, _that was only if he said I wasn’t any good for him._

He thought of Imagase and the way he felt in his arms, how his eyes looked in the moonlight. The gleam of his bleached-blonde hair.

And so the search for Imagase began.

**  
Carrie Underwood – Starts with Goodbye**

The phone falls out of his hands. His body is numb with cold, but he doesn’t feel it. He knows that Kyouichi will not understand this betrayal, knows that it will hurt him far more than it would have five years ago. But this is all he can do.

Imagase is too in love with Kyouichi. He feels this in every stretched-taut nerve of his body and he wants it to _stop_. He looks at the wallpaper of his phone. It’s him and Kyouichi on a visit to a festival, both in yukata. They look happy.

Snow is piling up on him and around him. Imagase shakes off the déjà vu and starts walking.

  
**Fukuyama Yoshiki – My Soul for You (Acoustic)**

Tamaki will never admit that she knows it’s Imagase whom Kyouichi dumped her for. This is because she, like most of the girls Imagase met, had fallen a little bit in love with his charm and his unwavering love for someone who may or may not have loved him back.

She is certain that Kyouichi will come back to her. Watching them touch each other, in the alley where they think no one can see them, she is painfully sure that her smile will eventually light the darkness that Kyouichi has wandered into. As much as she likes Imagase, and owes him for the stalker incident, she knows that he will hurt Kyouichi again. Something will happen, something like what happened when Kyouichi was hers for that brief, brilliant period of courtship, and this time it will be permanent.

So even though right now, looking at the love Imagase and Kyouichi have for each other feels like she’s been looking at the sun for too long, she will wait. She won’t change.

Kyouichi tips his head back against the wall, neck muscles straining, and she cannot bear to look any longer.

  
**Chronicles of Narnia OST – The White Witch**

The worst things, Kyouichi thinks, always happen in winter. Imagase doesn’t even know what he’s doing. Kyouichi isn’t sure that either of them want to know. They’re both scared of what tomorrow will bring, scared of even the slightest switch in emotions that would spell the end of their relationship.

Kyouichi twists the ring hung around his neck. He’d decided to start wearing it, despite what people would say. Maybe he could tell them it was just a keepsake. Anything. Because Imagase is so scared now, and Kyouichi can feel the end closing in on them like hot breaths on the back of his neck.

Imagase isn’t home right now. He hasn’t been home for two nights.

The soft tinkling of the wind chime in his balcony sounds like a death knoll. It’s far too delicate for what he’s feeling now, this ocean of rage and impotence and frustrated helplessness.

What can he do when the thing that’s killing them comes from the inside?

  
**9goats Black Out – Negai**

Every time Kyouichi comes back from work, Imagase is there to say welcome home. It is a small thing, but what it means for the two of them is so, so important. It means Kyouichi is no longer alone in the world. It means Imagase is allowed to love, and that he does. It means that the both of them have somewhere to call Home.

Though every day weighs heavily on Imagase’s mind, and Kyouichi is no more steady carrying Imagase’s burden than he was without it, they have something that belongs just to them.

Imagase wakes up crying, often, and Kyouichi is always there to kiss his tears away. Kyouichi thinks that there is no such thing as someone who looks good with a sad face, and Imagase falls more in love with him every time he proves this.

When they sit on the sofa, watching TV, they hold hands. Kyouichi’s thumb rubs gentle circles on the back of Imagase’s palm, and they both let themselves hope, just a little, that it’s okay to believe in a future where the two of them can be together, always.

When they fall asleep together, just before they close their eyes, unbeknownst to each other, they make a wish.

**  
DBSK – O.Jung.Ban.Hap**

They’ve never actually fought before. Not verbal arguments, but _fights_ , with fists and nails and sharp curses aimed to hurt and bruise. Today, Kyouichi has just resigned from his job because of a rumour going around that he is gay.

He told Imagase, time and time again, _don’t come to where I work_ because Kyouichi’s position could not afford to be threatened. Imagase’s meager income from his work as a private investigator cannot possibly support them, especially the way Imagase likes to live.

But Imagase, always so paranoid, did not listen.

They stand back, watching each other warily, Kyouichi with a split lip and Imagase with a bruise high on his cheekbone. They are at a standstill, in this and everything else.

  
**Ray Lamontagne – Hold You in My Arms**

When Kyouichi kisses him, he doesn’t close his eyes. He wants to see the stunning vulnerability on Kyouichi’s usually emotionless face, the side of Kyouichi that only _he_ sees. The side of Kyouichi that comes to him in the dead of night with fears that make his lip tremble and eyes bright with tears. Imagase takes it all.

Sometimes Kyouichi places his hands on Imagase’s face and closes his eyes for him.  
_  
Love is a poor man’s food_ , Kyouichi will say, and Imagase will not respond except to envelop the slightly shivering man in his own arms. He can never shake the fears. Neither of them can.

But just like this, for a little while, they can shake the sense of sadness, and cling to each other’s warmth.

**  
Vienna Teng – Pontchartrain**

The silence that three a.m. brings is oppressive to Imagase. It makes him feel like the blood in his veins is poison, like there’s a plague spreading through his flesh, jumping from nerve ending to nerve ending and rotting him from the inside out. His skin feels like there’s sand caught underneath it, uncomfortable and scratchy.

Kyouichi is sleeping with his back towards Imagase. The sharp angles of his spine have grown more defined over the years. Imagase knows that it’s because a relationship like this, no matter what he said before (You _can walk straighter with a burden?_ Imagase thinks, and chuckles painfully), is taking its toll on him.

The lights of Tokyo outside their shared apartment wink in and out of sight. Cars drive past, their headlights passing through the windows like ghosts.

Imagase often wonders why God is against them. He wonders who drew the line between them, between him and Kyouichi, that everyone else but them sees. He reaches out to place his hand against the nape of Kyouichi’s sleep-warm neck, feeling the fine strands of hair.

Time passes, and soon Imagase is asleep, with his back to Kyouichi.

  
**Lisa Nakazono – Koinu no Fantasy**

Watching Imagase run around the apartment chasing a cockroach, Kyouichi thinks that he’s really rather cute. Other people, other _sensible_ people, would just put down a cockroach trap, or spray insecticide at it. But Imagase never does things in halves.

There’s a crash from the kitchen, making Kyouichi jump a little in his seat. He is just about to ask what’s wrong when he hears the triumphant voice of Imagase telling the cockroach that it got what was coming to it. Imagase tells the cockroach that it serves it right for coming into their home and disturbing the peace, which Kyouichi has to smile at.

At times like these, when the apartment is filled with Imagase’s indignant voice and Kyouichi’s silent amusement, he says a little prayer (though he doesn’t quite believe in God) of thanks to whatever deity that gave him the courage to go after Imagase on that winter’s day.

  
**Switchfoot – Erosion**

Tokyo, midnight. Rain is sheeting down, heavy and painful and reminding Kyouichi of all the horrible things that happen when it rains.

“Fuck,” he mumbles, reaching for an umbrella that isn’t there. He curses again, and then again at the fact that Imagase had to pick _tonight_ of all nights to get jealous of a marriage interview. It’s not like Kyouichi would have accepted—they’ve been together far too long for Kyouichi to be able to let himself consider anyone else anymore.

His cellphone rings, and he answers.

“Imagase?”

“I’m sorry,” comes the tearful, broken voice on the other end. Some of Kyouichi’s anger melts, hearing his pain.

“Where are you?” Imagase tells him the address of a seedy bar in Nichome. Kyouichi sighs. “Okay, I’ll come—”

“I just thought. That. Maybe the rain could wash away my sins.” Imagase sounds scared, his voice wobbly with what sounds like love. Kyouichi knows all about that love.

“That line's old, Imagase. You don’t need any rain. All you need is me, so stop fucking running away,” Kyouichi snaps. There’s no real bite in his tone, however. He hears Imagase’s hiccupping sobs over the crackling of the phone.

“I’m coming to get you, so just stay there. Okay? I—I. Damn it, stop crying. _Wataru_. I love you.”

He hangs up before Imagase can say anything.


End file.
